It's Everyone's Responsibility
We welcome a reader's views on the question of responsibility for children No child is born evil.
Written by Jennie Niall
Thursday, 4 February 2010
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0 comments
We welcome a reader's views on the question of responsibility for children
No child is born evil. You can't look at a newborn baby and see a miniature Hitler or a 'Doncaster attack' child. The attack and torture of two children by a 10 and 11 year old pair of brothers horrified everyone who read or heard of it – but did it merit the headline used by one newspaper of “Devil Children”? The responsibility does not lie fully with the two young brothers and even less with the social workers. Social workers cannot live alongside dysfunctional families every hour of every day, not are they miracle workers.
The parents of those warped and unhappy children bear the greatest responsibility for the failure of their parenting. But what about the rest of society who had contact with the children? What about neighbours, family and friends, teachers and other people in the area? Was there really no-one who noticed how damaged these boys were becoming? And – could such an event happen on our peaceful and beautiful island of Arran?
I maintain that a child's upbringing is also the business of everyone who comes in contact with the child. If we see a four-year-old being excessively punished by a parent, we ought to challenge the parent or at the very least report it. If we notice an eight-year-old shoplifting, we have a duty to stop him or her.
Nowadays it is considered 'interfering' or being a “busybody” but in my view it isn't. It is taking our share of responsibility for the next generation and its upbringing, whether we are related to that child or not. This does not mean we must put ourselves at risk by challenging a heavy-set, 6 foot teenager who has had too much to drink! Nor does it mean grandma should constantly criticise her daughter’s methods of child rearing.
On Arran we have the major advantage of having small, well-integrated villages and communities with low crime levels. Let's keep it that way by having a caring but observant eye on all the youngsters on the island, including visitors' children. Challenging bad behaviour does not have to be done angrily or aggressively, it can be done benevolently and kindly but firmly. That one intervention that you make can alter a child's future.
And what about the well-balanced child? Do we give them and their parents enough praise? Have you ever been to a café and given a complimentary word to parents with well-mannered children? But that's another story.
Jennie Niall
Lochranza
Thursday, 4 February 2010
73 views 0 commentsWe welcome a reader's views on the question of responsibility for children
No child is born evil. You can't look at a newborn baby and see a miniature Hitler or a 'Doncaster attack' child. The attack and torture of two children by a 10 and 11 year old pair of brothers horrified everyone who read or heard of it – but did it merit the headline used by one newspaper of “Devil Children”? The responsibility does not lie fully with the two young brothers and even less with the social workers. Social workers cannot live alongside dysfunctional families every hour of every day, not are they miracle workers.
The parents of those warped and unhappy children bear the greatest responsibility for the failure of their parenting. But what about the rest of society who had contact with the children? What about neighbours, family and friends, teachers and other people in the area? Was there really no-one who noticed how damaged these boys were becoming? And – could such an event happen on our peaceful and beautiful island of Arran?
I maintain that a child's upbringing is also the business of everyone who comes in contact with the child. If we see a four-year-old being excessively punished by a parent, we ought to challenge the parent or at the very least report it. If we notice an eight-year-old shoplifting, we have a duty to stop him or her.
Nowadays it is considered 'interfering' or being a “busybody” but in my view it isn't. It is taking our share of responsibility for the next generation and its upbringing, whether we are related to that child or not. This does not mean we must put ourselves at risk by challenging a heavy-set, 6 foot teenager who has had too much to drink! Nor does it mean grandma should constantly criticise her daughter’s methods of child rearing.
On Arran we have the major advantage of having small, well-integrated villages and communities with low crime levels. Let's keep it that way by having a caring but observant eye on all the youngsters on the island, including visitors' children. Challenging bad behaviour does not have to be done angrily or aggressively, it can be done benevolently and kindly but firmly. That one intervention that you make can alter a child's future.
And what about the well-balanced child? Do we give them and their parents enough praise? Have you ever been to a café and given a complimentary word to parents with well-mannered children? But that's another story.
Jennie Niall
Lochranza
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