Northend rock-bottom on TV
Northend v Shiskine FC played a match in front of TV cameras for BBC's Countryfile programme last week. Northend triumphantly preserved its unbroken record of 16 years of lost matches.
Written by Nick Underdown
Friday, 7 March 2008
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Ever since The Times newspaper ran an article playfully ridiculing the club as ‘Scotland’s worst team,’ Northend’s record of nearly 16 years without a win has been the laughing stock of not just Arran, but football enthusiasts across the country. So the makers of BBC’s rural affairs programme Countryfile decided to televise Thistle’s most recent match against Shiskine and report on the club’s rock-bottom form.
Optimism
Northend had a chance to break their infamous duck in style if they managed to beat 2007 treble-winners Shiskine. Rumours abounded that a number of key Shiskine players were unable to make the fixture, which was cheering news. And with rigorous winter training regime perhaps about to pay off and a recent investment in some smart new strips, Northend optimism was cautiously high. One member of the team was even approached on Saturday evening before the fixture and offered a small bribe to ensure that Shiskine were not humiliated on national TV! Had Shiskine FC fallen to a resurgent Northend, their blushes would have been a deeper red than their shirts. It was a golden opportunity for the Northend team to stun the cynics — and in front of national TV cameras, too.
However, on the icy Ormidale astro on Monday night, Northend's abysmal record was unbroken, for they put in their most valiantly miserable performance to date. The pitch suited attacking play, as the slippy conditions made turning tricky for defenders, but it was no excuse for the Northend defenders, who came under relentless pressure in the first half from the nimble passing play of Shiskine’s Lachlan Jones, Jamie Stewart and Fergus Judge. Northend were continually forced to clear their lines and kick to touch, more like a rugby team than footballers capable of stringing passes together.
No Norman
Northend were without their regular keeper Norman Bond, who suffered a bad knee injury in a previous game. The team had drafted in the competent gloves of Southend’s Craig Black and if it hadn't been for his series of fine saves and good takes in awkward conditions, the scoreline could have reached double figures. As it was, Shiskine only found the net once in the first half. A shot drilled into the area was redirected by the quick feet of Locky and the ball pinballed into the bag.
Cross-bar rattled
Until that point Northend had, to their credit, looked dangerous on occasion. Some route-one passes through the centre could have caused some problems for the Shiskine back line had it not been for calm defending by the likes of Rob McNiece. When Northend earned a free-kick 5 yards from the edge of the Shiskine box, Mark Wetton came as close to scoring as his team did all night – his strike beat the wall and the keeper, but only rattled the top of the cross-bar.
Shiskine midfield maestro Willie Sillars caused bother for Northend throughout the game, skipping some skiddy, over-committed challenges from their defence. It was a sign of things to come.
In the second half, Northend's hopes were scunnered early by a quick passing move from the dependable partnership of Jamie Stewart and Fergus Judge. Dropping deep to collect the pass, Jamie turned his man and laid off a sweet through ball for Fergus to sweep it low past the dive of Craig in goal. 2-0. It was downhill all the way from then on.
Northend hopes spiked
Chunky, who has seemingly taken on a managerial role at Shiskine, made some clever impact substitutions throughout the second half. Fergus bagged another goal just a few minutes after his first, and the humiliation was complete when the talented Willie Sillars stole into the Northend box and, despite his short stature, leapt to spike a great downward header that bounced into the top corner of the goal. 4-0. Another drubbing for Northend, and this time a very public one.
Speaking after the game, Northend captain Matt Milne congratulated his team for a stoic performance, but he could not hide his disappointment. Rating his team’s efforts at barely more than 6 out of 10, he said, ‘We were scratching our arses a lot of the time and just standing about waiting for a killer pass that was never going to come.’
Select highlights (or lowlights) from the match will be shown this Sunday on BBC’s Countryfile programme.
Friday, 7 March 2008
2,899 views 0 commentsEver since The Times newspaper ran an article playfully ridiculing the club as ‘Scotland’s worst team,’ Northend’s record of nearly 16 years without a win has been the laughing stock of not just Arran, but football enthusiasts across the country. So the makers of BBC’s rural affairs programme Countryfile decided to televise Thistle’s most recent match against Shiskine and report on the club’s rock-bottom form.
Optimism
Northend had a chance to break their infamous duck in style if they managed to beat 2007 treble-winners Shiskine. Rumours abounded that a number of key Shiskine players were unable to make the fixture, which was cheering news. And with rigorous winter training regime perhaps about to pay off and a recent investment in some smart new strips, Northend optimism was cautiously high. One member of the team was even approached on Saturday evening before the fixture and offered a small bribe to ensure that Shiskine were not humiliated on national TV! Had Shiskine FC fallen to a resurgent Northend, their blushes would have been a deeper red than their shirts. It was a golden opportunity for the Northend team to stun the cynics — and in front of national TV cameras, too.
However, on the icy Ormidale astro on Monday night, Northend's abysmal record was unbroken, for they put in their most valiantly miserable performance to date. The pitch suited attacking play, as the slippy conditions made turning tricky for defenders, but it was no excuse for the Northend defenders, who came under relentless pressure in the first half from the nimble passing play of Shiskine’s Lachlan Jones, Jamie Stewart and Fergus Judge. Northend were continually forced to clear their lines and kick to touch, more like a rugby team than footballers capable of stringing passes together.
No Norman
Northend were without their regular keeper Norman Bond, who suffered a bad knee injury in a previous game. The team had drafted in the competent gloves of Southend’s Craig Black and if it hadn't been for his series of fine saves and good takes in awkward conditions, the scoreline could have reached double figures. As it was, Shiskine only found the net once in the first half. A shot drilled into the area was redirected by the quick feet of Locky and the ball pinballed into the bag.
Cross-bar rattled
Until that point Northend had, to their credit, looked dangerous on occasion. Some route-one passes through the centre could have caused some problems for the Shiskine back line had it not been for calm defending by the likes of Rob McNiece. When Northend earned a free-kick 5 yards from the edge of the Shiskine box, Mark Wetton came as close to scoring as his team did all night – his strike beat the wall and the keeper, but only rattled the top of the cross-bar.
Shiskine midfield maestro Willie Sillars caused bother for Northend throughout the game, skipping some skiddy, over-committed challenges from their defence. It was a sign of things to come.
In the second half, Northend's hopes were scunnered early by a quick passing move from the dependable partnership of Jamie Stewart and Fergus Judge. Dropping deep to collect the pass, Jamie turned his man and laid off a sweet through ball for Fergus to sweep it low past the dive of Craig in goal. 2-0. It was downhill all the way from then on.
Northend hopes spiked
Chunky, who has seemingly taken on a managerial role at Shiskine, made some clever impact substitutions throughout the second half. Fergus bagged another goal just a few minutes after his first, and the humiliation was complete when the talented Willie Sillars stole into the Northend box and, despite his short stature, leapt to spike a great downward header that bounced into the top corner of the goal. 4-0. Another drubbing for Northend, and this time a very public one.
Speaking after the game, Northend captain Matt Milne congratulated his team for a stoic performance, but he could not hide his disappointment. Rating his team’s efforts at barely more than 6 out of 10, he said, ‘We were scratching our arses a lot of the time and just standing about waiting for a killer pass that was never going to come.’
Select highlights (or lowlights) from the match will be shown this Sunday on BBC’s Countryfile programme.
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